Thursday, November 20, 2008

Gay Marriage

It's a complicated issue, one that matters both very deeply, because of civil rights, and very little, because marriage is a deeply problematic institution that isn't as important as the country thinks. I've got a lot more to say about it. But for the moment, let this suffice:

via Andrew Sullivan and Graph Jam.

EDIT: Also, I forgot to mention this recced Kos diary, which proposes a hostile takeover of the highly offensive Mormon practice of posthumously baptizing non-Mormons, in the form of "converting" dead Mormons to homosexuality. The first prayed-for convert? Joseph Smith, of course!
Dear God of the Homos,

With your great and everlasting love that blessed the covenants of Achilles and Petroclus, Gilgamesh and Enkidu, and of Jonathon and David, bless then the soul of Joseph Smith of Sharon, Vermont with your divine penis. Let it pierce the anus of his soul, and let you be forever joined to him, since on this oppressive earth, he was denied the pleasure of the male sex.

Forever and ever, our brother Joseph Smith has now joined our family (We Sing the Hymn to Praise God of the Homos!).

Blessed be God of the Homos,



  1. I didn't even know melting ice caps were even considered a possibility when gay marriage comes up, honestly that does make me somewhat apprehensive about the whole thing. Maybe the mormons were right.

  2. Oh, yeah. We gotta be real careful. I mean, as we know, it kinda doesn't matter what caused global warming. Clearly, therefore, it's the gays.

    Thank god we have charts like this, to inform us of the possible dangers.

  3. See this is what I have been saying for the last several months. Global warming has to do with the very delicate system that is the homosexual carbon (HC) cycle. Unlike its lesser known straight brother "the Carbon cycle", the HC cycle functions on a purely non-scientific level where increases in gay marriage result in increased god tears. This positive correlation as we all know has a negative effect on the earth's atmosphere since when god cries the earth gets warmer because his tears are pure sunshine. The same thing happened to the dinosaurs when they started to gay marry, which caused the resulting ice age. But that is irrelevant do to the fact that evolution is mystery to me and I believe dinosaurs lived in the garden of Eden.

  4. it's simple science, you clods. once gays are allowed to marry, the average temperatures of major cities such as Miami, San Francisco, Washington DC, and New York will skyrocket as a direct result from things generally getting hotter, saucier and sassier. that doesn't even account for the additional warmth provided to families of loving lesbian couples. if these trends continue... we're talking a crisis of cataclysmic proportions.

    we're through the looking glass here, people.

  5. People should make fake charts and graphs about everything. Do you remember the old conan segmant?

    That chart stuff is brilliant.

  6. nimsofa and dc- hahahha, wow, this is some groundbreaking research here, i think we've now put more effort into our theories than the people who actually reject global warming.