Friday, October 3, 2008

Great debate, you betcha!

The vice-presidential debate last night (or this morning, depending on where you are) saw strong performances from both Joe Biden and Sarah Palin. While it’s too early for in-depth analysis, here are some first impressions:

-Palin really knows how to control a conversation! Biden’s lengthy answer about gun control issues was cut short by Palin firing twin pistols into the rafters, then draping herself in an American flag and bursting into an impromptu rendition of The Star Spangled Banner. Good luck maintaining a rational conversation over gunshots, Biden.

-Biden bored the audience to tears with his insistence on bringing stodgy old things like ‘ideas’ and ‘policy’ to the table. Palin did much better with her pre-recorded talking points, which are like factual statements but better. For example, why answer a question about the environment, when you can talk about how great small-town America is? Only fat people and assholes want to hear questions being answered- you don’t want to be the politician that wins an election based on the “fat people and assholes” demographic, do you?

-On a related note, Palin showed an absolute mastery of reading from note cards. This is the sort of thing you just can’t learn in schools. Biden might have been able to fake it and bluffed his way through the questions, but you could tell he hadn’t even prepared a single note card! I prefer candidates who do their homework and get someone else to write down prefabricated opinions for them, and Palin has that where it counts.

-Palin also showed that she has an eye for theatrics. Several times after the moderator finished a question the camera cut to Palin hastily putting down a mooseburger and wiping her lips. Backstage sources confirm that it was 100% genuine mooseburger, too- a herd of moose had been flown in from Alaska, corraled in the green room backstage, and periodically shot, cleaned, and grilled by Palin’s husband as she neared the end of her current burger.

-Biden has no idea how to reach out to Republican voters. While Democrats and independents would like to hear about ways to solve the problems facing America, Republican voters are pretty much solely interested in hearing someone tell them about how stupid and bad Democrats are. Biden’s failure to eschew thoughtful discussion in favor of childish insults shows why he and Obama will never capture 100% of the vote.

Overall reaction: This debate was a total and complete victory for Palin. Don’t take my word for it, let’s consult straight-shooting maverick Joe Lieberman:

She hit it out of the ballpark. She proved that she is ready to be John McCain's Vice President. She was strong, she was competent, she was informed, she was very genuine. She was humorous.

If he says it’s good for McCain then it really has to be, right?



    Sorry you missed our liveblog, they'll be more, and I'm sure you won't have a good reason to avoid staying up until 6 or 7 in the morning to follow along live with us.

  2. yeah, i'll contribute some live sleepblogging next time

  3. ah holy fuck i cant even find the article between all the flashing spinning blinking ads on the NYPost site, that is some horrendous web design