The Thomas Friedman Tea Party

It's been at least a few days since somebody pointed out what an unbelievable idiot Thomas Friedman is, so I figured it's my turn.

Some recent Friedman statements, as complied by Sadly No:

March 24, 2010:

That is why I want my own Tea Party. I want a Tea Party of the radical center.

April 25, 2010:

So if there is going to be a Green Tea Party, it will have to emerge from a different place — the radical center, a center committed to a radical departure from business as usual.

A few points:

1. Anyone who uses the term "Radical Center" should be banished to an island until they understand the consequences of their actions. If you think about it for too long, you can feel your brain looking for ways to kill itself.

2. Of all the formulas that Friedman uses in his columns, probably his most charming is when he assumes masses of people will be instantly captivated by his stupid ideas.

Idea 1: Talk about climate change and making things "green" (without disrupting any of the pro corporate globalization policies he's built his career around worshiping.)

Idea 2: Find a way to talk about "Tea Parties"

Solution: Let's forget that most teabaggers would rather impale themselves on their one of their tri-corner hats before associating with something "green", I declare this a movement! I will also repeatedly reference this same idea in later columns, as if it existed somewhere other than my imagination caught on as a trend.

3. Is there anything more arrogant/egotistical/narcissistic than declaring in your national column in the New York Times that you want a movement dedicated to yourself?

That is why I want my own Tea Party.

He actually wrote that.

Before he even decides on the "green tea party" insanity, he honestly wants to create a political movement based on whatever the fuck he's excited about this week. Knowing Friedman, that can range anywhere from invading a country to tell them they can suck on it, having ironclad knowledge that something important will happen in the next 6 months or supporting any legislation that contains the words "free trade" (for those who think I'm exaggerating, check the links, he actually said all of those things). That's a solid group of ideas to build around.

In the end, the idea of a "Tom Friedman/green tea party" idea gets 4 out of 5 Friedmans. It's about as Thomas Friedmany as you can get, but he didn't include a reference to a corporation or a world leader, so he can't get the full score.