And the lucky recipient of 17 Uighur detainees is…

Palau! Far from being an onomatopoeic word describing the sound of another Bush-era mistake finally being rectified, Palau is actually a small Pacific island nation. Today they agreed to take the last of the Chinese Uighur detainees, people mistaken for Afghani or Pakistani jihadists and held in Guantanamo Bay for the last million years. Giving them to China would have resulted in surefire executions, so figuring out where to put them became an ongoing legal drama made all the more complicated by inexplicable Bush administration efforts to keep them imprisoned forever.

So they get to live out their days in Palau, which does sound better than being hunted by Chinese army divisions or enjoying torture sessions care of Uncle Sam. Reading the story made me wonder, though- how was Free Republic taking the news? A few months ago we saw that Freepers, confronted with a decision between supporting the authoritarian ~*Communist*~ Chinese government or the Muslim rebels trying to free their province, went on and on talking about how great Beijing is for torturing and killing Uighurs and wistfully pined for an America that would happily do the same. What do they think of the Uighurs new home? A great new thread gives us definitive answers.

Phrogphlyer wastes no time:

This could work. Palau could take the terrorists,
then take the money, then issue their own version
of terrorist hunting licenses.

I know I'd be up for a Pacific vacation if they did.

Just to summarize: Phrogphlyer sides with the communists, traditional enemy of all Freepers, in wanting to kill the Uighurs- even though everyone agrees that they aren’t terrorists. Everyone except for a bunch of morons on the internet, that is. Well surely other people must be a little brighter, Phrogphlyer is probably in the minority on this o-

deserted islands.......Low tide....pier pilings.....
crabs......barnacles.....sharks....industrial
strength cop tie wraps.......works for me....

Thanks usmcobra, I too salivate over the thought of the lawless, senseless killing of innocent people. Armsted Fragg must be worried about all the noise from jet planes keeping our Uighur friends up at night:

Hopefully, they’ll put them on one of the islands
without an airport.

Very considerate! Bustinchops presents some practical solutions:

Why not just let these guys walk out the front
gates of Gitmo and leave it up to them to
figure out where they;re going to go and how to
get there if they can find a place to take them.
Otherwise they can stay in Cube (I’m sure Castro
can find a use for them, even if it’s prison
labor in their wonderful facilities and system).
Spring ‘em with a handful of change for the pay
phone, a few bucks to eat off of, some toiletries,
a decent set of clothes and shoes and tell them
adios, then slam the door behind them. They managed
to behave in a way to get them thrown into Gitmo;
let them figure out their own ticket out, too.

Do you think the average Freeper realizes that ‘behaving in such a way as to get thrown into Gitmo’ can mean pretty much anything? Given that we can’t even figure out how most of them got there (and that reasons for ones we do know include things like ‘pissing off their neighbors with a noisy party’ and ‘being Muslim near a confused American soldier’) we can only conclude that ‘behaving in such a way as to get thrown into Gitmo’ can be pretty much any kind of behavior- I think Bustinchops qualifies. Mylife is worried about the children:

NOoooo!!! dont taint Micronesia with these pigs!

Heaven forbid a bunch of random Uighur Chinese end up in Micronesia, the place will be forever spoiled! Demshategod gives us one more:

That’s not fair. I need to behead some little kids
and shoot American soldiers so I can go live in Palua.
Oh well, I guess living in Oklahoma is better than
being a murdering Muslim.

There are no words.