So what were these protests about? Let’s allow the teabaggers to tell us, in their own words. This is the most generic sign I've seen, with a vague anti-taxing message and the usual pictures of Obama, Reid, and Pelosi:
Alright, so the problem here is taxes. Oh wait, it's actually about illegal immigrants:
No wait, it's about "ACCORN" and the census!
Did I say ACCORN? What I meant to say was that it's about the ever-elusive secular forces which seek to destroy our totally "division between church and state"-less society:
Actually now that I think about it, it's all about birth certificate conspiracy theories! Forget the rest of this stuff, SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A BIRTH CERTIFICATE!
Although some others assure me that it's all about gay people and socialism:
Heh, gay people are icky! I know it was about socialism a second ago but now it's about fascism:
Maybe we can start a movement for impeaching Obama? Not sure what the exact reason would be (or why the eye from the Illuminati decided to show up), we can figure that out later:
Stop the presses, I just remembered the real reason these protests are happening: guns! One can never be crazy enough in support of guns:
Hm, now if only there was some way for the oil companies to get someone to protest on their behalf. Oh wait, Drill Baby Drill! That was one of the pivotal moments on John McCain's Road To Defeat, but this time will be different:
Perhaps this would be a good time to rage about the media, too? Intense media coverage is the only reason these things got off the ground, and the media has mostly been kind enough not to make a big deal about how it's all astro-turf, but a persecution complex is a hard thing to beat:
How silly of me to forget, the real issue at hand is the House of Saud (it's ok for conservatives to complain about them now, hopefully everyone has forgotten about the Bush family and the Saudis being BFF):
Who wants to bet in whether or not this next guy is actually one of the mythical Captains of Industry? Also, would you like to place a bet about whether he'll actually go off the grid and raise crops for the rest of his life, or if he'll put down the Rand sign and continue to live his life exactly the same way he did during the Bush years?
Finally, this guy showed up to protest the act of people helping other people:
If you see a poor person on the street, it is your DUTY as an American to punch them in the face and tell them to go to hell!
This isn't all to say that liberal protests were always narrowly-focused lasers, sticking to the exact same message. Plenty of people showed up to press their own pet issues- that's what happens when you get half a million or more people to march in the same place. The crazy thing here is that there is no central message. The entire thing is a mish-mash conglomerate of completely unrelated topics. Was there any kind of group chant?
"What do we want? A bunch of different things, some of which are mutually contradictory and/or make no sense in their own right! When do we want it? Now, or in the past, or in the future, depending on what specific crazy issue I've chosen to raise! What do we want? All kinds of nonsensical crap! When do we want it? Whenever!"
I won't even get into the irony of the Johnny-come-latelies who are suddenly concerned about civil rights and liberties now that it's politically convenient- the same people who bent over backwards to engage in apologetics for Bush have now come to the conclusion that maybe these things are important? Welcome to the club guys, could have used your voices over the last few years.
I'll wrap it up here with this awesome example of a teabagger. See if you can spot what some might call "mind-blowing insanity" somewhere in there:
After a lifetime of working, paying taxes
and raising three children on her own,
Wilder is struggling.
She said she retired on disability from
M&T Bank three years ago after
undergoing knee replacement and back
surgeries. She lives on her Social Security
and disability benefits. Last year, she
petitioned the bankruptcy court for protection
from creditors.
She said she did not have to pay federal income
taxes last year because her income was too low.
"I don't want to see this country turn into a
welfare, nanny state, where we stand in line for
groceries, and we're in welfare lines, and in
socialized medicine lines," Wilder said.
I thought the idea behind the "tea parties" was taxes like the Boston Tea Party, which in itself is slightly ironic because technically the Boston Tea Party was a terrorist action. I say we give them a unified message. I say Nationalism, America for Americans, because it worked so well in Europe during the 1920s and 30s.
ReplyDeleteWho wants to bet in whether or not this next guy is actually one of the mythical Captains of Industry? Also, would you like to place a bet about whether he'll actually go off the grid and raise crops for the rest of his life, or if he'll put down the Rand sign and continue to live his life exactly the same way he did during the Bush years?
ReplyDeleteI know we've been inundated by unintentional comedy from the right recently, but threats of "going galt" are beyond anything we could have hoped for.
The idea that captains of the sign making like that champion will take up any form of protest stronger than masturbating furiously to Ayn Rand novels is just too funny for words.
I was under the same impression as Kari: these protests are mainly about taxes.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, there is a fundamental difference between our war protests, and these tea parties. The war protests had a clear, stated purpose (to protest war), so it was at once more obnoxious and less confusing when other causes (womens' rights, support for Palestine, anarchism...) tried to hijack the crowd.
As far as I can tell, this is a general problem with protests. People can't just shut up about their pet issues and get together to focus on one major thing. This is part of why congress is so effed, right? Every congress person wants to tag an important bill with their pet issue.