Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The First Shot of the Great Douchebag Revolution: Nationwide Teabagging

The Great Douchebag Revolution has unveiled their latest plan to shake up the liberal establishment: They're going to start teabagging parties throughout the United States.

No, I'm not joking. In fact, like RIVERDAUGHTER, I'm pretty sure I couldn't come up with anything nearly that funny.

Wingnuts across the country have been planning these gatherings for last couple months, and have settled on the name "Tea Parties". Get it? The Boston Tea Party was an act that protested an empire's right to tax it's colonies without representation, where as a wingnut tea party is a place to protest the very existence of taxes, Barack Obama, Black people and bane of all right wing existence... ACORN!

Dont' worry though, Michelle Malkin is on the case:

For the next 9 days, the left-wing blogosphere and left-wing clueless pundits will hammer away with their unreality-based Tea Party smears.

And on the ground, the tax-subsidized and Soros-subsidized troops are going to try and wreak havoc every way they can. Many readers and fellow bloggers have seen signs that ACORN may send in ringers and saboteurs to usurp the anti-tax, anti-reckless spending, anti-bailout message.

In case you were wondering, that link leads to a right wing message board where a person said this:
Groups like ACORN and CODEPINK are nothing but Anti-American criminal organizations. BEWARE. I just stocked up on Pepper spray at http://shop.christmascentral.com/items/item.aspx?itemid=63674 JUST IN CASE
Some nut who buys pepper spray at a Chrismas store says it's true? I'm sold. But if you thought that one unproven comment wouldn't lead to more insanity, you would be wrong. Thers:
Anyway, here's some sound advice from the Founding Bloggers comments on how to keep these ACORN goons from getting Teabaggers from signing their phony "petitions":

A very good friend of mine had a great suggestion for signing these peitions…let’s all sign…with the name John Galt!

While I think this is an excellent idea since John Galt is an Ayn Rand character in her book Atlas Shrugged that represents the power of the individual — I would like to suggest a twist on this suggestion. What if we all sign the petition Barack Obama so the connection between Obama and ACORN becomes more obvious to everyone. What could be more fitting than to advertise that Obama SUPPORTS Obama’s agendas listed on the petition? A kind of conflict of interest there — wouldn’t ya think?

Oh I’m so torn between signing John Galt or Barack Obama. Hmmmmm- Now I’m hoping someone asks me to sign just so I can do that. It’s great we are making them into nervous ninneys.

Imagining writing imaginary names on an imaginary petition circulated by imaginary "saboteurs" at a protest meant to redress imaginary grievances is, well, pretty damn imaginative.
These people are amazing. And even better, organizing this type of idiocy is how the right has decided to harness the power of the internet. Kos:
Back in our early years, we had better things to do with our time, like organizing for upcoming elections -- the things that actually matter in our modern political system. But the wingers have never been much for electoral organizing, what with their dreams of becoming the next Rush-Limbaugh style media sensation. Their single-minded obsession with punditry leaves little room for the hard work of fighting for an electorally viable Republican Party. And given that it's their ideology specifically that has made them toxic to the voters, they'd have to come up with ideas and whatnot. That wouldn't exactly play to their strengths, know what I'm saying? I mean, their best idea right now is to wave tea bags.
The tea parties take place on April 15th, and personally I can't wait. The idea of wingnuts form all across the county coming together to publicly put their testicles in each others' mouths errr... protest Obama/Socialism/Taxes/Black People/ACORN is better than any entertainment money can buy. So good luck wingnuts! And here's hoping this guy shows up:

17 comments:

  1. It would be AMAZING to set up an elaborate hoax on the web, posing as sabateurs from ACORN. Ideally, we could include bogus websites with garbled ascii and bits of "secret code!"

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  2. its gonna be a 24 hour teabagging event. you better watch yourself.

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  3. That guy with the pepper spray is probably just a shill for Christmascentral.com. I mean, they can't possibly be pulling in much money this time of year. So, may as well try and make bank on the kwazies.

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  4. Actually, yeah, we were talking about starting a fake twitter feed for something. A fictitious, evil ACORN might be perfect.

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  5. From the spelling prof:

    The tea parties take place on April 15th, and personally I can't wait. The idea of wingnuts form all across the county coming together to publicly put their testicles in each others' mouths errr... protest Obama/Socialism/Taxes/Black People/ACORN is better than any entertainment money can buy. So good luck wingnuts! And here's hoping this guy shows up:

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  6. Oh great speller and useful idiot-I think you might need a new proofreader:

    Wingnuts across the country have been planning these gatherings for last couple months, and have settled on the name "Tea Parties". Get it? The Boston Tea Party was an act that protested an empire's right to tax it's colonies without representation, where as a wingnut tea party is a place to protest the very existance of taxes, Barack Obama, Black people and bane of all right wing existance... ACORN!

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  7. To the Useful Idiot:

    "These people are amazing. And even better, organzing this type of idiocy is how the right has decided to harnessed the power of the internet."

    You fucking idiot!

    If you weren't such a sad, sad idiot, you'd be funny.

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  8. i like to imagine that all anonymous posts come from one person- one schizophrenic, MPD-ridden person.

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  9. JN-You mean you don't see the humor in a Useful Idiot criticising a guy for not being able to spell, then wiping out the language in a single blog?

    Guess he can't see to type with those balls bouncing off his chin.

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  10. @anon: Thanks for the spelling corrections! They're updated in the post.

    I didn't proof a post I wrote in 20 minutes on my lunch break, so that's on me. But that picture is funny, and I'm looking forward to the next round after Wednesday.

    And as to the other comment, it was the wingnuts who coined their movement "teabagging", not me.

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  11. @Noah and 6.54: Agreed for both a fake twitter and fake acorn people. the idea that ACORN has become this bogeyman for the right is too funny for words. Like atrios said a little while back, I'm glad they're focused on ACORN and teabagging rather than reforming their party. I think the goal is to eliminate any sane element by the time 2012 rolls around.

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  12. And as to the other comment, it was the wingnuts who coined their movement "teabagging", not me.This actually confused me as well. I thought you'd come up with the idea, before reading a little more about it on the nets. But no, indeed, I had once again insufficiently accounted for the ingenious communicative ability of the American conservative movement.

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. JJ-The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.

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  15. I don't understand the following quote from the original post and the way it misrepresents the motivation behind the Tea Parties.

    "where as a wingnut tea party is a place to protest the very existence of taxes, Barack Obama, Black people and bane of all right wing existence... ACORN!"

    I will address these issues in the order of importance as I see them.

    First off, there is no issue with the existence of "Black people" as you so graciously label a section of our society , there was no racist slant to the TPs nor should there be. We are in this together, this is about thought and the preservation of the individuals rights to liberty and the fruits of their labor. That knows no color, it is a founding principle of this great nation. I highly doubt the non causation patriots I saw at the NYC TP were self loathing, is it possible to concieve of the idea that they as a great portion of the people their do not see race as a prerequisite to political slant? Just maybe, they too would like a bigger part of what they work hard for? Or even better believe in this nation an it's founding principles.

    Secondly, I don't believe anyone there was against taxes wholesale. Taxes are fine if controlled and used appropriately, I have no problem with taxes going to infrastructure, the military, and the subsidy of education both public and private. The federal governments role in this country in that of a protector from enemies foreign and domestic, namely enemies that aim at undermining the founding principles of this great nation. It is not here to guarantee success that is the individual's job. It was also not established to impede or discourage success via high taxes for the productive.

    There is nothing radical or questionable about promoting the ideas and essence of those principles a nation was founded on. There is also nothing wrong with disagreeing with those ideas in a free nation. Changing those ideas is in fact a problem, if you are unhappy with the way this country was founded or the ideology it is based in I am sure there are other nations willing to accept you as a citizen and I wish you luck and prosperity. As for me I cannot conceive of a better system, nor would I change ours to that of an ideology that has failed over again in any form from the USSR, to Cuba, or in it's most benign form in Great Britain. Which to the anguish of many is not so great since going down the road of socialism.

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