Thursday, January 29, 2009

Alan Grayson: American Hero

The recent war of words between Rush Limbaugh and The Axis of Adults has been impossible to miss: even over here it’s audible as the faint sound of hysterics, throat-clearing, and paper-shuffling carried on the winds all the way across the Pacific Ocean. To say that it began a few weeks ago is a massive simplification- Limbaugh has a history of wildly shitting up the national discourse that goes back decades- but for the sake of brevity we’ll have to allow it.

First, on his January 16th show Limbaugh articulated his hopes for the Obama administration, saddled with the Bush wars and the economic crisis: “I hope he fails.” I don’t recall any prominent liberals specifically praying for a second Great Depression solely to spite Bush, but I’m confident Rush could quickly fabricate something to that effect. This statement was followed by a weeklong campaign where Limbaugh repeatedly stated that the crisis isn’t actually a problem, Democrats are evil, and that Obama aspires to destroy capitalism forever.

Perhaps partly inspired by these multi-hour harangues, “devote all time to playing petty games” became the order of business for Republicans in Washington shortly thereafter (if it wasn’t already). A few days later Obama told Republican leaders that “you can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done.” Sounds pretty reasonable, given that Limbaugh has been specifically railing against the concept of getting things done, right?

Limbaugh reacted with a long, incoherent rant that accused Obama of setting up the stimulus bill as an attempt to “buy votes for the Democrat Party.” Unwilling to stop while he was still making something that someone that might confuse with sense, Limbaugh then went on to say that the New Deal was the same thing- a ploy to “establish majority power for 50 years of Democrat rule.”

While I’ve been hoping Obama would perform some kind of bold act of escalation (I’m picturing him breaking into Limbaugh’s studio and throwing his shoes at the guy, or suddenly enacting laws imprisoning any drug addicts who have advocated imprisoning all drug addicts), the next move has come from an unlikely source: freshman Democratic Congressman Alan Grayson. Grayson looks something like a character from a Tom Tomorrow cartoon, which makes it highly appropriate for him to have said this of Limbaugh:

“Rush Limbaugh is a has-been hypocrite loser, who craves
attention. His right-wing lunacy sounds like Mikhail
Gorbachev, extolling the virtues of communism. Limbaugh
actually was more lucid when he was a drug addict. If
America ever did 1% of what he wanted us to do, then we'd
all need pain-killers.”

Damn! With this guy in the House and Franken in the Senate there’s potential for high comedy in Congress for the next few years. While in the end I’d rather see politicians ignore people like Limbaugh, compounding their persecution complex by poking and teasing them (and hopefully driving them apart from the elusive Moderate Republican by stimulating their Paranoia Gland) seems to be an acceptable option for now.


  1. Let me start by saying I don't care much for your blind and misleading rhetoric, J.N.. Your writing, to put it simply enough for your understanding, is unabashed shortsightedness and plain malfeasance. You are a shameful, malevolent malcontent and frankly I have had enough. Especially, of your relentless attacks on a true patriotic American, Mr. Rush Hudson Limbaugh III. I urge you to stop before it is too late. Wash your soul of your anti-Americanism and join the rest of us on reality ranch.

    However, through your incessant ramblings I did find a link to some amazing t-shirts. I suggest you think about trying one. This one is both tasteful and funny.

  2. The guy is a monster. Add that he performed this demolition of the Fed Vice chair IN HIS FIRST COMMITTEE HEARING!

    Oh yeah, and Blue dogs? He's doing this from a swing district. Suck on that.

    Also, Matt Stoller of Open left now works for Grayson as a senior policy advisor, and I don't think that's a coincidence.

  3. Hahaha, anonymous, are you Nimsofa or Kari? You've got the 'crazy right-winger' thing down to a T, but I can spot a friend trolling me with the 'hurrr waterboading=funny' routine from a mile away.

    overall I'd give your troll a B+. you've mastered the "repetition of talking points," "arrogance," and "ransacking a thesaurus" facets of wingnut posting down pat, but your flaw was in the "patriotic American, Mr Rush Hudson Limbaugh III" bit. Even the nuttiest cyberwarrior would find that embarassingly over the top.

  4. JJ- had you heard of this guy before? he might actually qualify for hero status at this point.

  5. @Anonymous, politcal satire is underrated in this country.

  6. JN- I had heard of him during the campaign, just as one of the people open left endorsed as a "Better democrat". Didn't know he would be this good though, especially since he's only been there a month.

    Also, coming soon, a train of thought act blue page. It's time to take shit to the next level.