Thursday, September 2, 2010

Cee Lo's "Fuck You" Sends Brent Bozell Into a Panic

As you might imagine, the title of the song has pissed off all the right people. The funniest of these is Brent Bozell of the Media Research Center.

The geniuses at Sadly, No already tore his column to pieces (and provoked a hilarious response from one of Bozell's underlings on twitter) but it's so funny I felt like quoting it at even greater lengths.

In the time he doesn't spend as a Kenny Loggins impersonator, Bozell gets angry about things he perceives as "liberal" in the media, which to him can mean anything from being too truthful to not being bigoted enough. In this case means using four letter words:
The pop-music world is turning into a caricature of shamelessness, childishness and even spoiled-brattiness. To get attention quickly, some pop stars will try absolutely anything. The soul singer Cee-Lo Green has a new album coming out. How's this for art: His first desperate single is titled "F—- You."
I'm guessing most people wouldn't call multi-platinum Grammy award winning artist "desperate", but then again most people don't still think Iraq has Weapons of Mass Destruction either. And he's just getting started:
The shock value is already working. A video was posted Aug. 19, and within four days, it had grabbed 1.4 million views on YouTube — another sign that YouTube is not a safe website for children.
I'm not sure if anyone has breached Bozell's purity bubble in the last 10 years, but at some point he's going to realize that there are a worse things for kids on the internet than a few mean words on youtube.
Green's producer, Bruno Mars, told MTV the whole production was "a dream session come true ... Everyone was just putting their minds together and (we came) up with one of our favorite tracks we've ever done. Cee-Lo came in and we started singing it for him. And he's just, 'I love that, man. That's beautiful.'"

This scenario of allegedly unfolding genius dodges the little reality that the supposed high concept is just a musical middle finger. The singer is cursing out his ex-girlfriend, who apparently left him for a richer man. The fact that the song is catchy and bright only heightens the offense. It's a Motown melody inserted into a manure pile. But, as usual, the Wanna Be Hip critics love it, even with that manure attached. The Wall Street Journal cooed it "may be the best rock and pop single of the year."
Even his precious Wall Street Journal isn't sacred of four letter words? The Horror!
Just a few years ago, we could be certain that a song this stuffed with profanity would never be aired on the radio.
And just think, only a few decades ago, people like this "Ceelo" wouldn't have been allowed to vote! Ahhh, there's nothing like reminiscing about the good old days.
Team Cee-Lo claims they're going to prepare a radio edit called "Forget You" to avoid alienating too many station managers. How thoughtful. But that only raises the obvious question: Why not call it "Forget You" from the very beginning? The answer is the calculation that millions of teenagers will buy the original dirty version as the official version and put it on their iPods. Any radio edit is just a lame Band-Aid for a pus-filled boil.
Wait, why doesn't the radio edit make him happy? Isn't that everything he wanted? You already have BIG GOVERNMENT *fartz* censoring songs for you, isn't that the goal?

And even more concerning, can a band-aid be lame? Is a lame band-aid somehow less suited for a puss filled boil than a normal band aid? Why would you even talk about a puss filled boil in the first place? That's gross, and it deeply offends me.
This is not the first time pop stars have played games with the F-bomb. A few years ago, Britney Spears offered a single very thinly disguised as "If U Seek Amy." Spears boasted, "All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy," which only made sense if it was obscene.
And now, you Brent Bozell, have forced your readers to say "fuck" out loud. For shame.
The British chanteuse Lily Allen offered her own "F—- You" song last year, but it wasn't a big hit here, with its 25 gratuitous F-bombs. It was only a gold record in France, Australia and Belgium. Right there on YouTube, you can see a video of Allen singing her brightly toned song with its ugly, profane chorus — "F—- you, f—- you very, very much" — live on French television. The audience claps and claps. Once again, the future beams out at us.
So if you weren't already convinced that Bozell spends his days furiously masturbating to youtube videos that use the word fuck, that last paragraph pretty much seals it.

The future beams out at us indeed.


  1. Conservative: more concerned about the overuse of F-bombs than actually bombs.

  2. Ahahah, wow. Great song, hilarious take-down JJ. I especially like the use of ~*fartz*~, that was pretty much perfect fart placement.

  3. @Dan: Very true, they tend to focus on the pressing issues of the day like cursing, the existence of gay people, and finding lost birth certificates.

    @JN Thanks, as for the use of *fartz*, you've taught me well.

  4. I heard part of the radio edit of this today - "forget you" just doesn't work as well. I mean it's not even the same number of syllables, not to mention completely changing the meaning.
    Also I hope Bozell never makes it over to the Louvre. Apparently they've got a bunch of obscene paintings in there. He'd go into some sort of shock.

  5. yo nice try jaypop, but european artists produce nude paintings of incredible artistic value, unlike the crude and obscene nudity of the other races

    ~*the more you know*~

  6. I love the fucking shit out of that song.

  7. Not to mention the fact that French TV literally plays pornography at night.

  8. Maurice, yea right..


  9. I am very thrilled you took the time and said that!?!


  10. This is an awesome tune! If not for the fact the I googled for "Brent Bozell is a douche bag" I would never have heard this great song. It's amazing the great shit you come across when you google for "[wingnut pinhead's name] is a douchebag".

    Thanks Brent! And fuck you. Fuck you very much!

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