Monday, November 16, 2009

"Columbus Go Home! Columbus Go Home!"

Probably the most startling thing about our fun with the teabaggers was how easily we were accepted with our nonsensical and overtly racist signs.

I guess when you seriously listen to Glenn Beck all day your ability to recognize satire must not be that high...
Bascially, several dozen Tea Baggers held an anti-immigration rally on the steps of the Minnesota State Capitol where they were met by an only slightly smaller group of counter-protesters.

The highlight of the event is the speech by "Robert Erickson," a "concerned citizen from Minneapolis." Erickson launches into what seems like a standard red-meat anti-immigrant speech. His real intentions are betrayed only by a slight smirk. It is only when he accuses immigrants of spreading disease and then indicts them for "killing millions" with small pox that it becomes clear that the immigrants he has in mind are the European conquerors of North America and their descendants.

The Tea-Baggers seem pretty clueless, and for the most part don't even seem to realize they have been punk'd, even when Erickson closes out with a chant of "Columbus Go Home!"

The "Columbus Go Home" chant reminds me of Tushara's yelling "deport my parents" at the 9/12 rally.

The end of his speech is really one of the coolest things I've seen in a while:
Its no secret that with an invasion of immigrants, comes waves of crime. We see them involved in massive theft, in murder, and bringing diseases like smallpox, which is responsible for the death of millions of Americans. These aren’t new problems though, they have been going on for hundreds of years, and continue to this day.

I say its time for us to say enough is enough! Are you with me? Are you with me? Lets send these European immigrants back where they came from! I don’t care if they are Polish, Irish, English, Italian, or Norwegian! European immigrants are responsible for the most violent and heinus crimes in the history of the world, including genocide and slavery! Its time to restore the sovereignty of people native to this land! I want more workplace raids, starting with the big banks downtown. There are thousands of illegals working in those buildings, hiding in their offices, and taking Dakota jobs. Let's round them up and ship them out. Then we need to hit them at home where they sleep, I don’t care if we separate families, they should have known better when they came here illegally!

If we aren't able to stand up to these European immigrants, who can we stand up to? We need to send every one of them back home, right now.
Thank you very much, and we’ll see you in the streets!

Columbus go home! Columbus go home! Columbus go home!


  1. We should also get rid of Columbus Day. Damn immigrant loving holiday

  2. alright, well i guess we have to one-up this next time THE CONDUCTORS assemble.