Friday, May 8, 2009

Train of Thought Field Trip: Free Republic Race Relations

For those of you who don’t follow stupid news, here’s the latest: Oprah gave away a bunch of chicken. A very large amount of chicken, as it turns out. More than KFC was able to provide, leading to a bunch of disappointed and angry customers who wanted free chicken and got a mob house and… well, no chicken. Why does Free Republic care? Well, take a look at the pictures and note the skin color of many of the people in the restaurants. In lieu of writing more of an introduction, I would just ask you to reflect on one of the most commonly invoked Free Republic mantras while you read their comments: “Republicans may have done (insert something hideous here), but liberals are the real racists!”

The following posts were taken from one of several million threads gleefully posted on the site. First, b4its2late does his best to exemplify the “fuck you, got mine” attitude:

Exactly what will happen when we have free health care.
Free health care = insufficient chicken and hungry mobs. Got it. SIDENET hasn’t ever met a black person, but he impresses his buds by aping one on the internet:


Heh, maybe we’ll get a watermelon joke later! Hint: We will get many watermelon jokes later. Humblegunner wins the Field Trip Award For Outstanding Achievements In The Field Of Incoherent Posting with this masterpiece of a post:

Yo free chickins has gone home..
to roost. < /wright>
Reverend Wright, free chicken, 9-11… These things are all connected. After seeing a picture of the (mostly black) patrons in one KFC, Truth29 uses his eagle eye to assess the scene:

Too easy by half: Democrat voters, Obama brown
shirts, EITC recipients, etc.
I guess dropping the n-bomb is out of style these days, so just throwing up a litany of things you don’t like (one of which doesn’t even exist) will have to do. Mowowie wants to outdo SIDENET and his outstanding performance of “black person via the internet” so here he goes:

I havent got my free car and free house yet but
i sure as hell am gonna git my free chicken!!!
Dinah Lord is just having too much fun with this, and can’t help but to join in:

Where mah gubmint chicken?
Oprah is in the government now? Good to know. Doc Savage briefly interrupts the thread with this awesome joke:

I’ll have the Hillary Combo! Two very small
breasts, two enormous thighs, and beak!
Heh, get it? Because Hillary Clinton is bad and those are chicken parts. Vox Freedom finally cracks the watermelon barrier, an impressive achievement for sure:

Next up, free watermelons for everyone.
Part of the stimulus package.
Republic of Texas has a timely question:

This happened at Popeye’s also. Apparently poor
people think restaurants exist to give them free
food. Wonder where they got that idea?
If I had to guess I would say they got the idea to go to KFC and get free chicken from Oprah, unless the poor person hive-mind that controls all poor people has finally decided to make its war upon KFC. Kickass Conservative does some kickass posting:

I want my Pie, uh, Chicken!
I sure hope Oprah the Obama gets to the bottom
of this. Instead of “a chicken in every pot”,
it is now “a bucket of chicken in every crib”.
Oprah, fried chicken, Obama, the crib… "black people!" Just like that, a post is born. SonOfPyrodex reads about one woman who took her children with the hope of getting free chicken, and instead got no chicken. From the story he takes away the following:

My observations:

2) "Our income" - her and her kids = welfare
3) "I take" - no father = welfare single mother.
4) "them" - multiple kids = multiple fathers
4) Considers KFC a "restaurant" = menthol cigs +
Colt 45 malt liquor.
Welfare mothers, multiple fathers, fried chicken, menthol cigarettes… "black people!" Apparently literally ever person on Free Republic is unsure about whether there’s any other kind. Anyway it’s been a few posts since we’ve had one of these:

Should have bought a slice of watermellon.......
Thanks, Jmax. As a brief aside from all the racism I wanted to share this post by yarddog:

Now I know a girl, a very pretty and popular one
who could get a guy to take her anywhere she wants
including really first class restaurants. She
prefers KFC. She also loves Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.
Must be something about grease she loves. What ever,
it hasn’t done her figure or face any harm as she
is a real babe.
Great story, buddy! I could read all day about his friends/vague acquaintances and the effects of various diets on their health. Smokingfrog follows the train of thought originally started by SIDENET:

All kinda coopins? What kinda coopins? Food
coopins? I needs mor food coopins! I could
use some gas coopins an mortgage coopins too.
Spelling errors, horrific grammar, coupons, presumably bad mortgages… "black people!" These guys have an understanding of African Americans which is most easily compared to Stormfront, yet Free Republic is somehow viewed as a fairly mainstream website. TC Rider raises the stakes even higher:

What will Okra be giving away next week?
Oprah is black, so her name is actually Okra. Also, watermelon. Rebelbase manages to tie in Obama with a level of ease which can be shocking for those unfamiliar with the ways of Free Republic:

Looks like Zero is gonna head out for lunch
again today.

And still, these guys wonder why the vast majority of African Americans won't vote for them.


  1. "And still, these guys wonder why the vast majority of African Americans won't vote for them"

    You clearly haven't read the provocative "Dear American Blacks" letter on redstate. It explains a lot more than the author ever intended.

  2. I really fear for people.

    Some highlights for me were the comments about about H-Rod, because if you're a woman you have to deal with comments like that. Also, I never thought I would read so many racist comments about black people and chick, but congrats to these guys for coming up with so many.