Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Auto industry crisis as a three act play

From the some hero in the comments on John Cole's blog:
THE TRAGEDY OF THE AMERICAN AUTOMOBILE INDUSTRY:A Play in Three Acts

Dramatis Personae

BIG THREE, a manufacturer of automobiles
UAW, Big Three’s employee
MITT ROMNEY, an idiot

ACT ONE

BIG THREE: I have plans to build automobiles, but I need labor to do so!


UAW: I will labor for you if you will pay me $40 per hour.


BIG THREE: I will not pay you $40 per hour.


UAW: But I need to save for my inevitible retirement, and any health concerns that may arise.


BIG THREE: I will pay you $30 per hour, plus a generous pension of guaranteed payments and health care upon your retirement.


UAW: Then I agree to work for you!

ACT TWO

UAW: I am building cars for you, as I have promised to do!


BIG THREE: I am designing terrible cars that few people want to buy! Also, rather than save for UAW’s inevitible retirement when I will have to pay him the generous pension of guaranteed payments and health care that I promised, I am spending that money under the dubious assumption that my future revenues will be sufficient to meet those obligations.

ACT THREE

UAW: I have fulfilled my end of the deal by building the automobiles that you have asked me to build.


BIG THREE: Oh no! I am undone! My automobiles are no longer competitive due to my years of poor planning and poor judgment!


MITT ROMNEY: This is all UAW’s fault!

Amazing. And if you're wondering why Mitt Romney, it's because of this brilliant Op-ed he put out a few weeks back.

10 comments:

  1. makes perfect sense to me.
    example:
    dog shits in my front yard I blame dog, not owner for shitty care of their dog
    comparatively
    UAW builds shitty cars in America's backyard I blame UAW, not Big Three for shitty care of their UAW

    ReplyDelete
  2. this play is excellent, and needs to be produced as a film. in 1920s soviet union constructivist style (and i mean that in the good way).

    ReplyDelete
  3. @NiKO the big three should be played by Hans Martin Steir and the UAW Patrick Swayze

    @JJ oh I've got an even better example

    A film studio is hired to record video of Saxby Chambliss molesting his granddaughter, blame the studio, not Saxby Chambliss for coping a feel.


    (http://video.google.com/videosearch?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=Ybt&q=saxby%20chambliss%20granddaughter%20georgia&ndsp=18&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iv#)

    ReplyDelete
  4. @NiKO Mitt Romney...Ed Harris

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Nimsofa: Love the chambliss one. That commercial is truly is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen.

    @Niko: Contructivist art is one of my all time favorite things, and it would fit this perfectly. It's enough to make me want to photoshop a poster along these lines when I get home.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @JJ Over winter break I could probably animate such a cartoon if you are in fact serious. Pro bono mother russia, of course.

    ON an unrelated note. Do you think that Sarah Palin went to Georgia to campaign because she thought it would give her foreign-policy experience?

    ReplyDelete
  7. @JJ, nimsofa:
    Actually, this has already been produced: STRIKE.

    Also, Mitt Romney should be accusing them of getting $70 an hour , if not an even greater exaggeration.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Strike II: Ghost of Yakov

    ReplyDelete
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