Showing posts with label THE CONDUCTORS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label THE CONDUCTORS. Show all posts

Monday, September 13, 2010

Portrait of the Teabaggers as a Mature Movement

Mature as in “more than a year old and thus slightly less likely to literally shit themselves,” that is. Yesterday the Tea Party rolled back into Washington, one year to the day after we first made their acquaintance during the storied 9/12/2009 March on the Capitol. This year, as last, some friends of the Train came out to help us form the second incarnation of The Conductors. Behold:


Dizzle sported a sign which worked on a few levels- none of which were picked up on by the proud teabagging masses. They saw Marxism, they saw crush, they saw something about a final solution- they shouted their approval. Somewhere, a CEO is now wondering if he could actually unironically use this as a slogan.


A mysterious friend known simply as D couldn’t pick just one complaint, and carried a sign expressing some slightly over-generalized frustration. Luckily her sign fit in just fine, given that the crowd was angry about everything from socialism to fascism to Islam to clouds.
La France took up my old sign from last year, and JJ reprised his own. Mine was a variation on a theme- perhaps the fine print will make things clearer:


(Warning: Don’t go to that site. Don’t do it.)

And what were we up against? The crowd itself was noticeably smaller, probably reflecting the split caused by Glenn Beck’s Rambling Jesus-a-thon two weeks ago. Again, many people chose to set up lawn chairs and nap, especially towards the back end of the crowd. There was a distinct aura of drowsiness to the participants this time.

Still, some people managed to stand- like this guy, who is seriously angry about Islam:

This gentleman just likes to keep his options open:

Here we see someone who actually believes that America is being threatened by “Mohammedan Socialists,” in a pretty severe case of tilting at windmills-itis.

This guy was really proud of his faux-Maoist Obama shirt, until Dizzle and I started applying Teabagger logic and loudly berated him for supporting the economy of Communist China. He quickly tried to claim that his “friend” had bought it for him in China, but our righteous pro-capitalist rant continued while we walked away. There’s no winning when you play by Teabagger rules.

Nothing to say here other than that I feel really bad for the kid in the middle, who apparently has a long life of dressing like a frontiersman and hanging out with nutcases ahead of him.

This one really speaks for itself:

This poor woman plans to sit on a lawn chair protesting nonsensically until the end of time:

So yes, the signs were every bit as impressive as last year. But something had changed- some spark has left the movement, leaving it feeling almost despondent at times. Last year the entire thing felt like a festival of lunacy, but Sunday was sluggish and desultory. What happened?

JJ and I tried to figure it out. Maybe the Teabaggers are starting to realize, on some subconscious level, that their entire movement is a sham designed to elect Republicans who won’t actually do any of the preposterous things they demand? The rally was also littered with the ghosts of wingnut memes of the past. Birthers, once stalwarts of the Teabag movement, seem to have almost gone extinct. The survivors seem to understand that they aren’t going to get Obama deported to Kenya any time soon. Similarly, the death panels promised by Sarah Palin turned out to be nonexistent; a figment of the Right’s fevered imagination. Now most of the HCR-related signs confined themselves to complaining about its effects, real or imagined, on the deficit.

The Tea Party gained its strength from an ability to fuse various wingnut memes into one cohesive movement. It gave these people the impression that they’re part of something important- a vehicle for sweeping the Kenyan Marxist Fascist Islamic Fundamentalist back to the moon or something, not just a vehicle for selling Dick Armey’s books and sweeping his friends into office. Perhaps it’s for the best that they start coming to terms with this today- because the Republicans who benefit from their votes in November are no more likely to deliver on their demands than Obama is to please the progressives who voted for him in 2008. If the Republicans win big in November then the Tea Party will have officially outlived its usefulness, and that doesn’t bode well for future 9/12 gatherings.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"Brought To You By Fox"

A pretty cool video by Media Matters, featuring two faces you might recognize around the 39 second mark...



We all spoke with the guy they were interviewing for a few minutes- if anything I think he was even nuttier off-camera.

Monday, September 14, 2009

TeaBaggers Occupy Small Stretch of DC; The Conductors Run A Train On Them

About six months ago I was sitting in my apartment in downtown Wuhan gathering quotes for a Train of Thought Field Trip when I noticed a huge banner on the top of Free Republic. Allow me to slightly paraphrase it: “FREE REPUBLIC INVITES YOU AND ALL YOUR CRAZY FRIENDS TO COME TO WASHINGTON DC ON SEPTEMBER 12th AND WAVE NONSENSICAL SIGNS AROUND WHILE CONSERVATIVE SPEAKERS TELL YOU ABOUT HOW GREAT YOU ARE! REGISTER NOW!”

So register I did- thirty times, to be exact. After that I emailed JJ stating in no uncertain terms that we would be there, a statement he agreed with immediately. Over the next few months we watched as Free Republic, Glenn Beck, FreedomWorks, and other leaders of the new post-apocalyptic conservative movement hyped it up as much as they could. T-shirts by FreedomWorks, charter buses by FreedomWorks, sign ideas by FreedomWorks! Just like the first round of tea parties, this was astroturfing at its finest.

Last Thursday we went to JJ’s place and got right to it. Sign ideas were exchanged and improved upon, designs were reworked, and plans were made for Saturday morning. We were happy to find that two friends of the Train, T and La France, were willing to join us.

At noon on Saturday we met up at Union Station and finished some last minute sign coloring before hitting the streets with the first ever live incarnation of The Train. Witness what we’re provisionally referring to as The Conductors:


From Union Station it was only a few blocks to the Capitol, where thousands of confused angry conservatives had set up camp:


The event was like a Free Republic thread come to life, with sign content ranging from merely confusing to hideously offensive. The people there needed no prompting before flying off the handle into all sorts of baffling rants. T was a lightning rod for crazy people, with one woman lecturing him about how he should never compare himself to black people- because, she explained, black people are “willing to do anything,” including “raping and killing.” One ongoing theme we noticed among the signs were ones wondering aloud why people keep labeling them racists. Perhaps we’ll never know…

Still, many of the people who came up to T ended with far more lighthearted encounters, including this woman who was delighted to meet Bobby Jindal’s nephew:


JJ had taped a copy of Obama’s birth certificate to his chest, which ended up being a perfect complement to the many signs demanding that Obama release his birth certificate and/or go back to Kenya. Here JJ poses with one Birther who studiously refused to acknowledge our repeated references to where she could, in fact, find a certification of live birth for one Barrack Obama:



Hahaha she’s literally within inches of it. Damn that Obama, able to hide it within plain sight! Some people went over the top with their preparations, including the owners of this lovely vehicle:

La France clearly approves. We all took plenty of opportunities to put our signs in the background of the major photo-ops, like a Where’s Waldo that ends with bewildered conservatives staring at lemonparty:



Over the course of two hours we took pictures with and spoke to hundreds of conservatives. Out of all of these people only one realized that we weren’t being entirely on the level. “Are you guys for real?” (pause) “No, you guys aren’t for real.” For the most part people looked at our signs and approved, spotting nothing amiss. One man came up and said he was glad to see that it wasn’t just old people hitting the streets- I didn’t have the heart to tell him that actually yes, it was only old people who had come out unironically. Age may have been at least somewhat related to one notable feature of the rally: a large percentage of the protestors brought lawn chairs and merely sat on them, signs planted in the ground to the side. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a group which has spent decades deriding protests now finds itself wholly unable to pull one off with any sense of energy today.

It’s worth noting that while conservatives had a 0.01% success rate for detecting our mockery, journalists were dead on, 2 for 2. We spoke to people from Media Matters and Salon.com, both of whom recognized our game immediately. They were kind enough not to blow our cover in front of the great masses of the people, and Alex Koppelman from Salon was awesome enough to include us in his article about the event!

One final note about numbers- our sense was that the crowd wasn’t larger than 10 or so thousand where we were. Police and firemen estimates are claiming 60,000 for all three events combined, which is only 1,940,000 people lower than the number being thrown around by Michelle Malkin and Free Republic. I’ll put up some random pictures of especially ridiculous protestors later today or tomorrow.

All in all, I’d like to say that the first convention of The Conductors was a great success.